September 11th, 2015. (Date actually written)
Saying this has been very exciting week for me would be the understatement of the year. I have looked forward to this week from the beginning of June. You see, my favorite artist, Jimmy Needham came and did a concert one night, and worship the following two days at my college. I was asked to do his merchandise table so I was blessed to have a chance to be able to really talk to him several times. Okay, I'll be honest, I was majorly fan-girling. How could I not? I listen to his songs on shuffle and repeat all the time. Just WAIT, this whole blog isn't going to be me drooling. I am writing this because in some small way I want to bless the man who has allowed God to work in him. Which created music that is not only inspired and poetic, but speaks power. Its power comes from the truth it contains. He sings the scriptures. Words that were breathed out by God. I have been convicted, humbled and blessed by his songs. And what has blessed me even more is getting to see first hand that this man walks the walk. He doesn't just perform, get his money, and go. He's the real deal. He admits his struggles and his downfalls, but also shares his victories and gives all the glory to God. Getting to see just a glimpse of a heart that is so desperately in love with the creator has ministered to my own heart.
This week and even before this week, God has been lovingly showing me how the closer I get to Him(God) and the more I devote myself to Him, the more I will become the woman of God in the fullness I desire to be. I struggle with very high anxiety, which has made it very difficult for me to fully surrender and trust God at times. It's a daily battle. I have to wake up each day, and say "okay God, this day is yours. I trust you to guide me, and give you the reins." Sometimes I just want to have control, because I think I could do it better. My heart knows that God's ways are best, but my mind takes over sometimes and tells me "You know what's best for you, do it your way". That gets me absolutely no where. When I'm struggling with surrendering to God, lyrics from a song called "Hurricane" by Jimmy Needham really speak to me.
I have built a city here Half with pride and half with fear Just wanted a safer place to hide I don't want to be safe tonight
[Chorus]I need You like a hurricane Thunder crashing, wind and rain To tear my walls down I'm only Yours now I need you like a burning flame A wild fire untamed To burn these walls down I'm only Yours now
I'm only Yours now
I don't sing these lyrics lightly. This is a cry to the heavens from my soul, asking the Father to do what needs to be done. To tear down our walls of bitterness, pride, self-hate, depression, but most of all to uncover the buried sins we've tried so hard to conceal. It's painful. We want to hold on to them. Why? Simple. We have become comfortable in our sin. Give it up. All of it. Lay it down at His feet. Let Him wreck you and turn you upside down so you can be right side up. This doesn't mean that you need to start overwhelming yourself by doing every single Bible study, and reading the whole Bible in day, and making it into some kind of insanely unrealistic task list.
"Doing my best to hide my mess, But all we need is need." - Jimmy Needham
That line spoke to me and convicted me in the deepest parts of my heart. We first must be perfect in order to even consider approaching God. HECK NO. You run to his feet, MESS & ALL. He wants every part of our lives. Our desire and striving to be more like Him is what blesses His heart. I have been a Christian for as long as I can remember, and the enemy has frequently tried to feed me the lie that Christianity = 100% perfect and in control at all times. I hate to admit it, but I have fallen for this lie several times. The Bible clearly says that "All have fallen short of the glory of God". No one is perfect. We are also not truly giving our lives to Him if we do not seek to follow His lead and wait on his wisdom. If we're just rushing into the first door that opens or jump through the nearest window of opportunity without asking for his guidance, we're trying to do this on our own. That's not how it was meant to be. What the Father has for us is peace beyond understanding and a freedom that can only be found in Him. I want to encourage you to fully surrender to God and to find your peace within his unconditional love. For He will never forsake you.
Love, Jessie
Jimmy & I
P.S. I want to hear from YOU GUYS! What topics would you like me to write about?
