He Speaks

  Let me just start off by saying GOD IS SO GOOD! He really is! Everyday I stand amazed at how much He really loves me. How much He really does care! No matter how many times I mess up (All day Every day), He still accepts me, blesses me, and gives me the world!
   This past weekend I experienced some awesomeness. It was one of those things that is just so bizarre and perfect, that there's no way to explain it, except to point at God. Before I tell you about that, let me give you a little bit of background info.
   I'm the type of person who loves serving. I'm always eager to do whatever God has for me to do next, I always want to make sure that I'm doing things for His Kingdom, and that I'm not just sitting idle doing my own thing.
   So, within these last couple of weeks God has asked me to drop just about EVERYTHING, like the Christian club I created and led, my leadership role in Kid's Church, I quit one job to start my real job full-time, and then I was let go, and it goes on and on. I did it and trusted Him, but I still went a little crazy, because I had no clue what He was doing. I like to be in control, and sometimes I forgot who's really in charge. So of course, I start to take things into my own hands, and put some busyness back into my life. I began to consider joining the worship team at my church, since I had so much more free time. I started talking to my youth pastor and his wife about joining.
    I prayed about this for weeks. I wanted to know that this was definitely something that God was leading me to commit to, instead of just jumping right into it. At first, I was at peace about the whole thing, just waiting for God to speak His mind. Then as weeks went by I began to become anxious, and started having doubts about whether I've ever really heard God speak to me, and I would second guess all the thoughts I had about making a decision, because I didn't know if it was God or just me trying to speed things along. So complicated.
    Finally, I just asked the youth pastor's wife if I could just try out, and maybe sit in on a couple sessions, to see how it felt. I told her that God still hadn't made anything clear, and a lot of times when I just start doing something, I'll know if it's what I'm supposed to be doing or not.
   The day right before we were supposed to talk about it again, I was heading to a Matt Gilman worship set, with my mom. My mom and I were just talking about random life stuff, nothing that was related to the worship team, when a thought suddenly cut through all my other thoughts. The words were so clear in my mind, and I just knew with everything in me that it was God. He said, "Jessie, I dropped all of these things out of your life for a reason. I want you to be available." All it took was God speaking, and my chaos turned into understanding and peace. Every time I think about it, I just want to do a happy dance. GOD IS SO GOOD!
   Now that I know what God wants this season to be for me,  I've been trying to figure out what being "available" means. One thing that happened a while ago, was I kept getting the name Hannah* in my head. For several days, this girls name continued popping into my head. So finally, I said, "Ok, God, I hear you! I'll reach out to this girl!"
   I've only met this girl one time, and it was almost a year ago. She was super sweet, but still a complete stranger. We both followed each other on instagram, so I messaged her and said, " Hi Hannah*! So I know this is completely random and you don't know me at all, but I feel like I'm supposed to get to know you. I don't know how or when, but your name just popped into my head, and I have this strong sense that we're supposed to be friends, and that our friendship would bless one another.  So if you're interested in meeting up sometime my number is 'insert numbers here' : ) If this freaked you out I apologize, Jesus asks me to do awkward things sometimes, so yeah, here I am."
   Now, this is not like me to just put myself out there like that. I hate the feeling of being rejected, so a lot of times that stops me from doing all the things I could.
   Anyways... Hannah* texts me a couple hours later and says, " Hey girl! It's Hannah*. Don't worry, your message wasn't freaky, your obedience to The Lord is awesome :) this is crazy, I've been praying for Christian sisterhood. I would totally be interested in meeting up sometime soon!"
   I was blown away by her response. She actually PRAYED for Christian sisterhood and then BOOM, God tells me to talk to her.
   So my awesome experience from this past weekend was when I finally got to meet up and have lunch with Hannah*.
   The entire lunch time was such a blessing! We could've probably talked for days. We are both introverts, which if you've read my blog titled, "Small Talk? No Thanks", then you know why that is such a big deal for me. It basically meant that from the get go, we were open with one another, we shared our life stories, our struggles, our joys, and even things that we've only shared with one or two people.  Several times we had to stop talking and just sit in awe of how alike we were. The similarities in our thought processing, character, and many other things, was just astonishing! Can you see how awesome God is? He took two people. Strangers. Brought them together and formed a heart connection. He knew that we'd be good for one another. Only God could do something this amazing, and find someone so specifically in tune with me. It's just absolutely CRAZY!!
   My advice to you is this, when you hear some kind of crazy urging inside of you to reach out to someone or something related, DO IT! Step out and be bold! You never know what's in store.

                                 Love,  Jessie Childs

*name changed for anonymity

Life & Death Are His

 {Cool Fact: This is a post I wrote on another blog when I was in 7th grade}

"Cursed be the day in which I was born!... Why did I come forth from the womb to see labor and sorrow, that my days should be consumed with shame?" 

        This doesn't sound like one of God's greatest prophets. Yet it is! It's Jeremiah, pouring his heart out to God, wishing he'd never been born. Everyone has felt that way at one time or another. Most of us have wished we could just check out of this life. For some, though, that desire gets so intense they act on it. Suicide is the third leading cause of death among American teenagers. Teenage suicides have tripled in the last 25 years. Why do so many young people decide life isn't worth it? What does God say about suicide? What can we do to guard against suicide? 
     There are many reasons people take their lives. Everyone occasionally faces despair, but why does one person make it through the struggle while another ends his life? The critical factor is loss of hope. A suicidal person looks at his or her problems and says, "It's dark outside, and I'm powerless to change things. I have no hope that things will get better. Why live through the pain?"What does God think about suicide? Unfortunately the Bible does not give a simple here's-what-God-says-about-the-issue answer. But it does give us some helpful principles. 
     First, man isn't the author of life, God is. There are no "self-made" men or women. You're here because God made you in His image, because He loves you, He wants to know you, and He wants you to know Him. When someone commits suicide he or she is saying, "Look, God, you goofed when you let me slip into this world. So I'm going to correct your mistake." Life and death are God's territory. By you choosing to take your own life you're taking away God's authority. To trespass on that holy ground means you've decided to play God. All sin is playing God---choosing to do what you want instead of what God wants---and suicide is a sin. But suicide is playing God in a major way, and God does not look on it lightly. The only unpardonable sin today is that of continued unbelief. There is no pardon for a person who dies in unbelief. No, the person who takes His own life cannot ask forgiveness, but we are not forgiven for our unerring faithfulness in asking forgiveness. We are forgiven because of God's mercy and Jesus' death on the cross. That is bigger and more reliable than any of our efforts. Thank God! So, I believe that if someone commits suicide, and has given their life to Jesus, they have gone to heaven. 
     This doesn't mean suicide is okay. Actually, suicide is one of the most selfish, cowardly, and hateful acts anyone can commit. Those who have ever had to deal with someone's suicide know: the emotional devastation for those left behind is unbelievable. Suicide doesn't solve problems. It dumps them on someone else, multiplied many times over. Don't believe the lie that, everyone will be better off without you. They won't. You'll just cause overwhelming pain and heart break. So what do you do when you--or someone you care about----decide that you want to simply end it all? 
     First, remember you're NOT alone. Everyone has felt that way. There are many people who have already walked the very path your walking, that can give you advice and help you. Please, please, please don't believe the lie that you are alone! It is not true! You are so loved by your heavenly Father!
     Secondly, don't lose hope. Things can get better. Sometimes all  you need is time. Mitch Anthony, founder of the national Suicide help center, puts it like this: "Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. It's like cutting off your leg, because your little toe hurts."          
     Third, know the danger signals that someone might be considering suicide: someone going through a family crisis; being the victim of abuse or neglect; drug abuse (yours or a family member's); death of a friend or family member; approaching the anniversary of a significant loss or death; previous suicide attempts; family history of suicide; preoccupation with death and/or talk of suicide. If you or a friend are experiencing one or more of these signals, talk to someone you can trust--someone trained to help you with your struggle. Counseling is extremely important. There is nothing wrong with needing help. I readily admit that I need help all the time. I have, and at times still do, struggle with depression. I talk to a close friend about it and ask them to pray for me. I can't do it alone, and neither can you.
     Finally, remember, even if it seems no one else cares about you and your pain, God cares. He cares deeply. Pour your troubles out to Him. He understands because He, too, has experienced the depths of human experience. When you are tempted to give up, to take the coward's way out and end it all, remember what Winston Churchill once said: "Success is never final; failure is never fatal; it is courage that counts." And Jesus says, "Be of good cheer, I have overcome the world."

     You don't know what people are going through, so be kind. 

                                                                                     Love, 
                                                                                         Jessie Childs