17 As Jesus started on his way, a man ran up to him and fell on his knees before him. “Good teacher,” he asked, “what must I do to inherit eternal life?” 18 “Why do you call me good?” Jesus answered. “No one is good—except God alone. 19 You know the commandments: ‘You shall not murder, you shall not commit adultery, you shall not steal, you shall not give false testimony, you shall not defraud, honor your father and mother.’[a]” 20 “Teacher,” he declared, “all these I have kept since I was a boy.” 21 Jesus looked at him and loved him. “One thing you lack,” he said. “Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” 22 At this the man’s face fell. He went away sad, because he had great wealth. 23 Jesus looked around and said to his disciples, “How hard it is for the rich to enter the kingdom of God!” 24 The disciples were amazed at his words. But Jesus said again, “Children, how hard it is to enter the kingdom of God! 25 It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God.” Mark 10:17-24In the past when I read this passage, I always looked at it as something that was really written for people of great wealth. As I was reading this again, I was very convicted. How could I think that this passage does not apply to me? Do I not have things in my life that distract me or try to tempt me? I do! Do I not have my own selfish desires? Do I not continue to let things into my eye gate that I know would displease the Lord? I do! I wonder why at certain times in my life I have so much trouble connecting with God. Now I know. I can't let go of my "riches". When really it's just sin in disguise. If you want it plain and simple, it is our idols.
These scriptures right here are the key to why we have such difficulties connecting with God. We think we have it all pretty much together. When we decide to follow Jesus we think it's okay to hold onto some of our old habits and desires because "they're not really that bad." That is such a lie! The amount of Christians that allow large amounts of secular media into their minds and hearts astonishes me. How can you think that you can listen to music that is not of God and watch those vulgar movies and not be affected by it??? I can say from personal experience that that is such a lie. In my family we are only allowed to listen to Christian music. As a child, I grew up watching Veggie Tales and Jesus movies. That was it. The simple decision my parents made to fill us up with Godly media at a young age, thrust upon me a spiritual maturity that can only be accounted to the experience of being constantly surrounded by things of God. This is just my personal experience. We all come from different backgrounds. Maybe you never had someone that controlled the things that were put into your fragile heart. You might not know that you need to monitor what you let enter your eye gate. Well, I'm here to tell you that it is vital. Make it your responsibility. There are other things as well, that keep us from connecting with God to our full capacity. The things that you allow to be apart of your life could be bad relationships, vulgar language, jealousy, bitterness, or maybe just constantly being so busy that you leave no room for God. These are just some of the things we hold on to and let put walls up between us and God.
Over the past couple of years, I've allowed a few secular songs here and there to slip into my everyday life. I've read a few unchristian books. I began to make exceptions, which began to become a more frequent habit. I didn't realize what I was doing to my mind. I thought that I was a strong enough Christian that I could read certain books and not be changed by them. SUCH A LIE! Over time, my ideas of right and wrong started to become confused. I then realized that the ungodly things that I allowed into my life were the reason for the confusion I was facing. Despite that, I didn't want to give it up. I liked reading books like "The Hunger Games" or "The Fault In Our Stars". I continued to hold onto my "riches" a.k.a idols. Many times the things that caused me to sin, began so innocently.
For example, one time I was looking for an article on "How to Lose Weight Fast" and it was on the cosmopolitanism magazine website. My intents were purely innocent, but at the end of the article, after I finished reading, were "suggested articles". If you've ever seen the cover of one of these magazine covers in a store, you know they're pretty much just a sex magazine. So, I allowed my flesh and curiosity to get the better of me and clicked on one of the articles that I knew I shouldn't read. That led me down a path that was filled with shame and regret. I felt so dirty. My relationship with God got so messed up.
It is a common belief that guys are the only ones who struggle with sexual feelings and thoughts. That is a lie. God made both of us to enjoy sex. So naturally we're both curious, but there is a point in which that curiosity must be contained, because it becomes lust and impurity. I battled for months with impure thoughts attacking my mind. Thoughts that I wanted to leave. I didn't know where they came from. Then one night after I finished reading a book that had some romance in it that went too far, I just broke down. I couldn't do it anymore. I felt so much shame because I knew I was reading things that were seriously, displeasing to God. I wished that I could take it all back, but I knew I couldn't. I felt like there was no way that God could want someone who so fully rebelled against everything they knew was right and good. These sins and idols that I continued to let rule my life were stealing from the true riches of a life lived to the fullest in God. I laid there in my bed, sobbing to God, and asking for forgiveness, but even as I did all these things I still felt like there was no way God could forgive me.
Then suddenly words that my friend Ashley told me a couple days before came to my mind. She came up to me after youth group and told me that during worship, when she was playing the keyboard, God suddenly spoke to her and said "Jessie is precious", and then she looked up and saw me kneeling on my face at the alter. At that moment, as I laid in my bed overwhelmed by my grief, those three words blessed me. They reminded me that it doesn't matter how bad I mess up, God still loves me and sees the good in me. Right then and there I made the decision to cut out all things in my life that were not clearly of God. I was tired of making exceptions. I wanted God to truly have my whole heart. I wanted to let God use my mistakes to redeem others, to show the world that no matter how perfect and innocent I may seem at times, I am SO not perfect. I love much, because I've been forgiven much. This is just my struggle, but we are all different and struggle with different things, so this message applies to ANYTHING and EVERYTHING that hinders you from connecting to God, whether you know what they are or not.
Ok, this whole paragraph might seem a little random, but hang with me, it's connected, I promise. I've read many stories about people who've given everything to just be with God. They hold prayer meetings when they know they could die for it. They witness to people in the streets of their communist countries. They spend years in prison, and are continually tortured because they believe in someone who has overcome death. Everyday Christians all over the world take risks and are persecuted, all because they love God. Here we are, in America, the land where we have more freedom of speech than the majority of the world, and we're just doing what's comfortable. How much do we REALLY put ourselves out there? How often do we ignore that still, small voice inside of us? How often do we go out of our way to ask someone how their day is and if they have Jesus in their life? THAT IS WHAT WE ARE CALLED TO DO!
So here's my question. What is holding you back from giving up everything, and stepping out in faith without a second thought? What sins and desires are you allowing to reign over your life, and control the person you are? Don't settle for letting God have just a piece of your heart. If you're gonna do this thing, you go in all the way. Right now, right where you are, repent. Give up every distraction, every sin, every idol, every worldly desire to God. Live in freedom and dwell in the true riches of life, the riches that can only come from living a life pleasing to the Lord.
I hope that my personal experience has inspired you and given you hope. This, honestly was very hard for me to share so publically, but I believe that the things that are the hardest to do have the most power. Testimonies are life-giving and encouraging to those who are struggling too, which would be pretty much everyone. I hope that my testimony was exactly that for you :)
If you are having trouble pin pointing the things you need to get rid of in your life, ask God to show you, or maybe ask a close, wise, trustworthy friend to help you.
If you have questions or would just like to talk to me, please message me in the "Contact Me" section of the sidebar.
Love,
Jessie Childs
