The Depths of Despair

    

     Have you ever felt like you're stuck in the depths of despair? Maybe you just have no motivation to do anything, and you come home and want to sleep the day away. Every little thing overwhelms you because it adds on to the never ending exploding mess you're constantly trying to make sense of. Perhaps you've become an easily angered person. It doesn't take much to set you off. Just the sound of someone's voice makes you cringe. Your tolerance level is at an all time low. You find yourself pasting on a smile because you don't want people to see your sadness.
     This my friends, just about perfectly describes me these past weeks. I started off the school year in August very excited and passionate about what God was going to unfold this year. That began to diminish as distractions took over, and God kept getting pushed farther and farther away from being the focal point in my life. Don't get the wrong idea here. I didn't go all out rebel and turn my back on God or anything. I just stopped reading my word every day and spending one on one time with God all the time.
     The longer time went on of me not spending time with God, the worse it got. I began to get really discouraged because I wasn't seeing fruit in the friends that I was trying to bring to Jesus. I invested my love and time into people who couldn't care less, people who continually hurt me over and over again. I would also come home everyday and sleep for several hours, and have no motivation to do anything else. The purpose of my life started to get foggy, and this in turn brought on a whole bunch of confusion, making me question if I'm supposed to be a missionary. This freaked me out. When I was four years old God told me that I was going to be a missionary, so for my whole life this has been sort of a part of who I am. So to be unsure of this made me extremely nervous, especially in the midst of my senior year. I was having a lot of trouble trusting God. In some ways I felt that if I wasn't a missionary, that I would be disappointing God, and all the people that I've told for so long that I am going to be a missionary.
     At this point I was so overtaken by my doubts and discouragement, that the enemy definitely had room to come in and reek some chaos of its own. I didn't want to go to church, to school, or anywhere really. Fun stuff that I would usually jump up and down to go to, I preferred to just stay home.
     Over Christmas vacation, a family member said something that hurt my feelings a bit. It was something really stupid, but I was so sensitive at the time, that you could of said "your hair looks green", and I would've started crying. Ridiculous, right? My mom asked me what was wrong, and I just started overflowing. I couldn't hold in my pain anymore. I had pasted on a smile for too long.
     Today at church I decided that I had had enough of feeling this way, so I went up and asked for prayer from a couple of close friends. I am SO glad I did! I feel so much peace and grace right now. In those few minutes of prayer, I learned so much.

     1. God is not disappointed in me.

     2. My version of God's plan and His version can be different. Even though I've always envisioned my self going on to the mission field after college, His ideas could be very different.

     3. I don't always need to be strong. It's ok to not be ok. I'm the person that people come to because they trust me, and they share their struggles with me, so sometimes I feel like I can't always put all my stuff out there. Though I do think I am usually a pretty transparent person.... but maybe not as much as I think I am.

     4. God knows what He's doing. I can trust Him to follow through when I am faithful in the moment and circumstances that I'm in.

     Pretty awesome stuff right? This was all very encouraging to me. It spoke directly to my heart. It feels like my heart got a little blanket wrapped around it and a cup of hot chocolate. I just feel so good. I'm definitely not completely up to par yet. That will be a process. A process of faith, that I learned about from my pastor in church today.

1. We endure trials    2. Gain Character    3. Establish Faith    4. Obtain Promises

     That's the process of Faith. I am not where I was this morning or yesterday, so already I am better than before. I'm going through trials, I am gaining character, I am reestablishing my Faith in God, and through my continued faithfulness, and pursuit, I will obtain the promises of God. Sounds pretty simple when you see it like that.
      As I was and am struggling with all of this stuff, I have constantly asked myself why I've felt so down. Why am I struggling and confused? Why do I feel like I am being attacked?
      While I was in Church, I was flipping through my notebook, and I found an entry on August 18th, 2014. Which is right before school started. I wrote it when I was at the prayer room  at my church on a Monday night, and Mrs. Jane came up to me and gave me a verse in Philippians 4:13.

"I can do all this through him who gives me strength"

       She told me that that year God was going to use sandpaper on me. That I would be persecuted, and that God didn't want me to quit. That I could do this.
     As soon as I read that it all made sense. CRAZY, RIGHT?!?! That's why I've been feeling this way. In many ways God has been stretching me and pushing me to step out of my comfort zone this year. For the last few weeks I've just felt like quitting. Running the race was too exhausting, I was drained, depressed and I couldn't do it anymore. Then I read that, and I knew I couldn't let the enemy win. I want to persevere, push through, trust God, and overcome all the things that are weighing me down. This is more than a new year for me, this is a new season. God is working on me, and I'm going to make room to let Him. God gives me strength. I shouldn't rely on those things to always come from my friends, family, or even myself. I need to rely on Him.

     We're not alone in our struggles. We can overcome, and find joy, even in the hard times. I promise that if you continue to push closer to God, you will find what you're looking for, because when you're close to God, your desires begin to line up with His. 

     I know that at times, maybe all the time, it feels like life is just a cycle of continuous slaps in the face. Don't lose hope! Be encouraged! Push through it! No matter how hard or boring it may be, continue to read your word daily, even if you still feel awful afterwards, keep pushing in closer to the Lord. Also remember, it's ok to not be ok. We're not perfect, and we ALL struggle. So in the hard times, look for ways that God is trying to shape you in that season. Be open and ready. Share your struggles with other people that are trustworthy, encouraging, and will speak life into you. Sometimes it helps others to know that you're not a perfect human being, but you also just need to let all of your troubles out. Trust me, it really helps. I kept all of this stuff bottled up for awhile. Even when I was smiling, I was crying and pulling my hair out in the inside. Don't do that guys! You'd be surprised how understanding and discerning some people can be when you just pour out your heart to them. Now I'm not telling you to share your life story with the next Billy Bob Smojoe you see. Go talk to a strong Christian friend, pastor, or maybe a parent.

     If you would even like to talk to me, I am happy to lend a ear! I try to make these blogs a bit general so everyone can relate in some ways, but I'm not a top notch writer, so I don't get to everybody, so if you have specific questions or just want me to be praying for you, go ahead and write a note to me in the "Contact Me" section! But of course, Jesus is the best listener of all :)

         Love your friend, Jessie

                                                                                                                     

P.S.

The title "Depths of Despair" is an Anne of Green Gables 

reference for those book lovers out there.

In the World, but Not of It

Worldly.

     This is a term that I am familiar with. I've grown up hearing this term, for it is said often in church. When I was asked to define it today, I didn't really know what to say on the spot. So I'm processing all of this and trying to get a clear understanding of what this word really means.

     The dictionary definition of “worldly” is “relating to, or devoted to, the temporal world.” Worldliness, then, is the condition of being concerned with worldly affairs, especially to the neglect of spiritual things. The Bible has a great deal to say about worldliness, none of it good. 

     Worldliness is based around sinful patterns or  habits of wrongdoing that are common to all man kind. Before we even look at worldliness, we need to have a clear understanding of "sin".
     There are many things that are sins, such as slandering/gossip, adultery, stealing (even something little), murder, saying God's name in vain, and the list goes on and on. Romans 6:23 says, "For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." That means that if you sin in any way, that you're penalty is death, but because Jesus died on the cross for us, we can accept His gift of eternal life. You may think, well, "I'm a good person, I haven't really done anything super bad." Well, Romans 3:23 says, 

"For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God."  

     That means everyone sins. All sin is on the same level, whether it's murder or stealing an eraser, sin is sin. We're all broken. The awesome part about this whole thing, is that Jesus accepts us with all our broken pieces. I consistently go through seasons of repenting for something I'm struggling with, and then going right back to my old habits, and every time I turn back to God, He accepts me with open arms. I don't deserve it, yet there He is, always ready to comfort me and love me. It amazes me every time.
    Now that we have a better understanding of sin, let's look at "worldliness". In Romans 12:2 it says,   

"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." 

     Believers are meant to be set apart. When Jesus says that we are not of this world, He means that we are here physically, but we are no longer ruled by sin, nor are we bound by the principles of the world. How are people supposed to recognize us as Christians if we act like everyone else? It's simple, they won't. We are called to be different. Jesus sets it out plainly in Matthew 5:13-16, 

“Let me tell you why you are here. You’re here to be salt-seasoning that brings out the God-flavors of this earth. If you lose your saltiness, how will people taste godliness? You’ve lost your usefulness and will end up in the garbage."
^14-16 “Here’s another way to put it: You’re here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world. God is not a secret to be kept. We’re going public with this, as public as a city on a hill. If I make you light-bearers, you don’t think I’m going to hide you under a bucket, do you? I’m putting you on a light stand. Now that I’ve put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand—shine! Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you’ll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven."

     How can we be a good example if we take part in worldly pleasures? 1 John 2:15-17 says,

"For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." - See more at: http://www.prayers-for-special-help.com/bible-verses-about-sin.html#sthash.gJak544o.dpuf

"For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." - See more at: http://www.prayers-for-special-help.com/bible-verses-about-sin.html#sthash.gJak544o.dpuf

"For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." - See more at: http://www.prayers-for-special-help.com/bible-verses-about-sin.html#sthash.gJak544o.dpuf

"For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." - See more at: http://www.prayers-for-special-help.com/bible-verses-about-sin.html#sthash.gJak544o.dpuf

"For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." - See more at: http://www.prayers-for-special-help.com/bible-verses-about-sin.html#sthash.gJak544o.dpuf

"For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." - See more at: http://www.prayers-for-special-help.com/bible-verses-about-sin.html#sthash.gJak544o.dpuf

"For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." - See more at: http://www.prayers-for-special-help.com/bible-verses-about-sin.html#sthash.gJak544o.dpuf

"For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." - See more at: http://www.prayers-for-special-help.com/bible-verses-about-sin.html#sthash.gJak544o.dpuf

"For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." - See more at: http://www.prayers-for-special-help.com/bible-verses-about-sin.html#sthash.gJak544o.dpuf

"For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." - See more at: http://www.prayers-for-special-help.com/bible-verses-about-sin.html#sthash.gJak544o.dpuf

"For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." - See more at: http://www.prayers-for-special-help.com/bible-verses-about-sin.html#sthash.gJak544o.dpuf

"For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." - See more at: http://www.prayers-for-special-help.com/bible-verses-about-sin.html#sthash.gJak544o.dpuf

^" Don’t love the world’s ways. Don’t love the world’s goods. Love of the world squeezes out love for the Father. Practically everything that goes on in the world—wanting your own way, wanting everything for yourself, wanting to appear important—has nothing to do with the Father. It just isolates you from him. The world and all its wanting, wanting, wanting is on the way out—but whoever does what God wants is set for eternity."

     Being worldly is a problem that everyone has, some just more than others. It is something that we continually have to overcome and resist. We have to reject the temptations of this world, and devote ourselves to living a life that glorifies God, a life filled with sacrifice, courage, and faith.  Jude 1:19 says,

"It is these who cause divisions, worldly people, devoid of the Spirit."

     Someone who is completely worldly, has no spirituality in their life. They have nothing to do with Jesus. They do what they want, how they want, and when they want. They pursue worldly pleasures. I really like this passage from Romans 12:2 that says,

"Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you."

     The longing to fit in to our society, often causes us to just do what everyone else is doing, even if it's stupid. We become so used to just following the crowd that we're just blending in, not giving a thought to the bigger things that God has for us. It is SO important that we are set apart as Christians. I can't make that clear enough! It's hard, trust me I know. Sometimes, I just want to fit in, and so I let myself go and I act like everyone else, but afterwards it doesn't feel so great. Living my life for Jesus is the most rewarding part of my life. The way that He leads me through my trials and decisions is vital to my very existence. My faith in God has opened so many doors to new adventures, friendships, and struggles that help me to grow in maturity. I'm thankful for every moment.

     Remember, be in the world, but not of it.
    

                                                                  Love,  Jessie Childs

He Speaks

  Let me just start off by saying GOD IS SO GOOD! He really is! Everyday I stand amazed at how much He really loves me. How much He really does care! No matter how many times I mess up (All day Every day), He still accepts me, blesses me, and gives me the world!
   This past weekend I experienced some awesomeness. It was one of those things that is just so bizarre and perfect, that there's no way to explain it, except to point at God. Before I tell you about that, let me give you a little bit of background info.
   I'm the type of person who loves serving. I'm always eager to do whatever God has for me to do next, I always want to make sure that I'm doing things for His Kingdom, and that I'm not just sitting idle doing my own thing.
   So, within these last couple of weeks God has asked me to drop just about EVERYTHING, like the Christian club I created and led, my leadership role in Kid's Church, I quit one job to start my real job full-time, and then I was let go, and it goes on and on. I did it and trusted Him, but I still went a little crazy, because I had no clue what He was doing. I like to be in control, and sometimes I forgot who's really in charge. So of course, I start to take things into my own hands, and put some busyness back into my life. I began to consider joining the worship team at my church, since I had so much more free time. I started talking to my youth pastor and his wife about joining.
    I prayed about this for weeks. I wanted to know that this was definitely something that God was leading me to commit to, instead of just jumping right into it. At first, I was at peace about the whole thing, just waiting for God to speak His mind. Then as weeks went by I began to become anxious, and started having doubts about whether I've ever really heard God speak to me, and I would second guess all the thoughts I had about making a decision, because I didn't know if it was God or just me trying to speed things along. So complicated.
    Finally, I just asked the youth pastor's wife if I could just try out, and maybe sit in on a couple sessions, to see how it felt. I told her that God still hadn't made anything clear, and a lot of times when I just start doing something, I'll know if it's what I'm supposed to be doing or not.
   The day right before we were supposed to talk about it again, I was heading to a Matt Gilman worship set, with my mom. My mom and I were just talking about random life stuff, nothing that was related to the worship team, when a thought suddenly cut through all my other thoughts. The words were so clear in my mind, and I just knew with everything in me that it was God. He said, "Jessie, I dropped all of these things out of your life for a reason. I want you to be available." All it took was God speaking, and my chaos turned into understanding and peace. Every time I think about it, I just want to do a happy dance. GOD IS SO GOOD!
   Now that I know what God wants this season to be for me,  I've been trying to figure out what being "available" means. One thing that happened a while ago, was I kept getting the name Hannah* in my head. For several days, this girls name continued popping into my head. So finally, I said, "Ok, God, I hear you! I'll reach out to this girl!"
   I've only met this girl one time, and it was almost a year ago. She was super sweet, but still a complete stranger. We both followed each other on instagram, so I messaged her and said, " Hi Hannah*! So I know this is completely random and you don't know me at all, but I feel like I'm supposed to get to know you. I don't know how or when, but your name just popped into my head, and I have this strong sense that we're supposed to be friends, and that our friendship would bless one another.  So if you're interested in meeting up sometime my number is 'insert numbers here' : ) If this freaked you out I apologize, Jesus asks me to do awkward things sometimes, so yeah, here I am."
   Now, this is not like me to just put myself out there like that. I hate the feeling of being rejected, so a lot of times that stops me from doing all the things I could.
   Anyways... Hannah* texts me a couple hours later and says, " Hey girl! It's Hannah*. Don't worry, your message wasn't freaky, your obedience to The Lord is awesome :) this is crazy, I've been praying for Christian sisterhood. I would totally be interested in meeting up sometime soon!"
   I was blown away by her response. She actually PRAYED for Christian sisterhood and then BOOM, God tells me to talk to her.
   So my awesome experience from this past weekend was when I finally got to meet up and have lunch with Hannah*.
   The entire lunch time was such a blessing! We could've probably talked for days. We are both introverts, which if you've read my blog titled, "Small Talk? No Thanks", then you know why that is such a big deal for me. It basically meant that from the get go, we were open with one another, we shared our life stories, our struggles, our joys, and even things that we've only shared with one or two people.  Several times we had to stop talking and just sit in awe of how alike we were. The similarities in our thought processing, character, and many other things, was just astonishing! Can you see how awesome God is? He took two people. Strangers. Brought them together and formed a heart connection. He knew that we'd be good for one another. Only God could do something this amazing, and find someone so specifically in tune with me. It's just absolutely CRAZY!!
   My advice to you is this, when you hear some kind of crazy urging inside of you to reach out to someone or something related, DO IT! Step out and be bold! You never know what's in store.

                                 Love,  Jessie Childs

*name changed for anonymity

Life & Death Are His

 {Cool Fact: This is a post I wrote on another blog when I was in 7th grade}

"Cursed be the day in which I was born!... Why did I come forth from the womb to see labor and sorrow, that my days should be consumed with shame?" 

        This doesn't sound like one of God's greatest prophets. Yet it is! It's Jeremiah, pouring his heart out to God, wishing he'd never been born. Everyone has felt that way at one time or another. Most of us have wished we could just check out of this life. For some, though, that desire gets so intense they act on it. Suicide is the third leading cause of death among American teenagers. Teenage suicides have tripled in the last 25 years. Why do so many young people decide life isn't worth it? What does God say about suicide? What can we do to guard against suicide? 
     There are many reasons people take their lives. Everyone occasionally faces despair, but why does one person make it through the struggle while another ends his life? The critical factor is loss of hope. A suicidal person looks at his or her problems and says, "It's dark outside, and I'm powerless to change things. I have no hope that things will get better. Why live through the pain?"What does God think about suicide? Unfortunately the Bible does not give a simple here's-what-God-says-about-the-issue answer. But it does give us some helpful principles. 
     First, man isn't the author of life, God is. There are no "self-made" men or women. You're here because God made you in His image, because He loves you, He wants to know you, and He wants you to know Him. When someone commits suicide he or she is saying, "Look, God, you goofed when you let me slip into this world. So I'm going to correct your mistake." Life and death are God's territory. By you choosing to take your own life you're taking away God's authority. To trespass on that holy ground means you've decided to play God. All sin is playing God---choosing to do what you want instead of what God wants---and suicide is a sin. But suicide is playing God in a major way, and God does not look on it lightly. The only unpardonable sin today is that of continued unbelief. There is no pardon for a person who dies in unbelief. No, the person who takes His own life cannot ask forgiveness, but we are not forgiven for our unerring faithfulness in asking forgiveness. We are forgiven because of God's mercy and Jesus' death on the cross. That is bigger and more reliable than any of our efforts. Thank God! So, I believe that if someone commits suicide, and has given their life to Jesus, they have gone to heaven. 
     This doesn't mean suicide is okay. Actually, suicide is one of the most selfish, cowardly, and hateful acts anyone can commit. Those who have ever had to deal with someone's suicide know: the emotional devastation for those left behind is unbelievable. Suicide doesn't solve problems. It dumps them on someone else, multiplied many times over. Don't believe the lie that, everyone will be better off without you. They won't. You'll just cause overwhelming pain and heart break. So what do you do when you--or someone you care about----decide that you want to simply end it all? 
     First, remember you're NOT alone. Everyone has felt that way. There are many people who have already walked the very path your walking, that can give you advice and help you. Please, please, please don't believe the lie that you are alone! It is not true! You are so loved by your heavenly Father!
     Secondly, don't lose hope. Things can get better. Sometimes all  you need is time. Mitch Anthony, founder of the national Suicide help center, puts it like this: "Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. It's like cutting off your leg, because your little toe hurts."          
     Third, know the danger signals that someone might be considering suicide: someone going through a family crisis; being the victim of abuse or neglect; drug abuse (yours or a family member's); death of a friend or family member; approaching the anniversary of a significant loss or death; previous suicide attempts; family history of suicide; preoccupation with death and/or talk of suicide. If you or a friend are experiencing one or more of these signals, talk to someone you can trust--someone trained to help you with your struggle. Counseling is extremely important. There is nothing wrong with needing help. I readily admit that I need help all the time. I have, and at times still do, struggle with depression. I talk to a close friend about it and ask them to pray for me. I can't do it alone, and neither can you.
     Finally, remember, even if it seems no one else cares about you and your pain, God cares. He cares deeply. Pour your troubles out to Him. He understands because He, too, has experienced the depths of human experience. When you are tempted to give up, to take the coward's way out and end it all, remember what Winston Churchill once said: "Success is never final; failure is never fatal; it is courage that counts." And Jesus says, "Be of good cheer, I have overcome the world."

     You don't know what people are going through, so be kind. 

                                                                                     Love, 
                                                                                         Jessie Childs 

Small Talk? No, thanks.

     For as long as I can remember, I have consistently asked for prayer to overcome my "shyness". I've always felt that I'm supposed to be super outgoing and persistent in my pursuit of conversation with people. I thought I was so weird because I absolutely hate group settings (for the most part). I live for one-on-one conversations. Those are the moments when I feel most alive. There's nothing like that feeling you get when you connect with someone at the heart level. I've often told people that I have the hardest time "small talking". I like to get to know someone on a deep level by having intimate conversations, and then small talk, because then the "small talk" isn't really "small talk" anymore. It's deep "talk". It's meaningful "talk". Just today, I've come to discover that it's not such an odd idea at all. It's normal. At least for me it is. I'm what this world would call an introvert. I ran across this list written by a guy named Carl, who is also an introvert. I think he's been watching me.
Check it out: [The blue words are me talking]

Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk.
This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days.

[This is totally me!]

Myth #2 – Introverts are shy.
Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don’t interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talking. Don’t worry about being polite.

[Yup, this is me too. I have a really hard time walking up to people, unless I'm super close to them. It doesn't matter if they're standing alone or in a group, I just can't do it. My interactions need to have a point, once again going back to the whole "I don't like to small talk" thing. Sometimes I really struggle with finding something to say to someone. A lot of times I really want to talk with someone, but I just don't know where to start, which is why I love it when people seek me out and just start chatting away, and asking me about what's going on in my life.]

Myth #3 – Introverts are rude.
Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting.

 [Wow. That's my life. I really pride myself on being honest with people. One of the things that I always try to do is encourage people. I'm really good at telling people the things that I love about them, but I mostly only do that through text or in a card, saying stuff in person usually terrifies me. With girls, it's a lot easier for me to express my admiration and love for them, and to give encouragement. with guys I find it a lot harder, because I don't want to come across as flirtatious when I'm just being sincere. Also, in conversations I just wanna get to the point, I don't like dragging stuff out.]

Myth #4 – Introverts don’t like people.
On the contrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. They can count their close friends on one hand. If you are lucky enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of substance, you’re in.

[I have a good core group of close friends, but I can most certainly count my very close friends on one hand. I do believe that the above statement describes me well. I try my hardest to always let my friends know how much they mean to me and how much I truly do cherish their friendship.]

Myth #5 – Introverts don’t like to go out in public.
Nonsense. Introverts just don’t like to go out in public FOR AS LONG. They also like to avoid the complications that are involved in public activities. They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result, don’t need to be there for long to “get it.” They’re ready to go home, recharge, and process it all. In fact, recharging is absolutely crucial for Introverts.

[This one is kind of me. It just depends on what the event is. If I'm chillin' at someones house, lets drag this thing out all day, if we're in a big group out on the town...I need a nap. Usually in big group events, I'll sort of fade into the background, and I just sit back and observe the way people interact with each other, and then I'll come out of my seclusion every now and again. I just really like  being around people who are having fun, and sometimes I just like to sit there and soak it in. That's one side of me. The other side of me is wild. I'll have those times where I am so in the zone, and I'm jumping from conversation to conversation, trying to make everyone feel welcome, and I really enjoy that side of me too, it can just be exhausting being "on" all the time, those are the times I definitely need to be recharged]

Myth #6 – Introverts always want to be alone.
Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don’t have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time.

[That's me to the T. I probably drive my mom nuts telling her about all of my books or new music I discovered, etc]

Myth #7 – Introverts are weird.
Introverts are often individualists. They don’t follow the crowd. They’d prefer to be valued for their novel ways of living. They think for themselves and because of that, they often challenge the norm. They don’t make most decisions based on what is popular or trendy.

[I believe this is me a lot of the time, but I do follow the crowd sometimes. At times, I just can't take being the odd one out, so sometimes, I'm sad to admit this, but I compromise.]

Myth #8 – Introverts are aloof nerds.
Introverts are people who primarily look inward, paying close attention to their thoughts and emotions. It’s not that they are incapable of paying attention to what is going on around them, it’s just that their inner world is much more stimulating and rewarding to them.

[I would say that I can very easily recognize the things that I'm struggling with emotionally. I spend a lot of time thinking, analyzing, and focusing on my ideals, struggles, and decisions. This has helped me to grow a lot in my spiritual walk.]

Myth #9 – Introverts don’t know how to relax and have fun.
Introverts typically relax at home or in nature, not in busy public places. Introverts are not thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies. If there is too much talking and noise going on, they shut down. Their brains are too sensitive to the neurotransmitter called Dopamine. Introverts and Extroverts have different dominant neuro-pathways. Just look it up.

[At times when it is really chaotic, I have definitely been known to crawl up into my shell, or to become grumpy as I shutdown. I love my quiet time. Even though I like being in charge, sometimes I prefer other people to organize events, because I can't enjoy myself during the event it self. Knowing that I'm in charge and responsible, I won't be able to enjoy myself and relax because I'm trying to make sure everyone else is having a good time. There are other times though, when I thrive in a room filled with activity.]

Myth #10 – Introverts can fix themselves and become Extroverts.
A world without Introverts would be a world with few scientists, musicians, artists, poets, filmmakers, doctors, mathematicians, writers, and philosophers. That being said, there are still plenty of techniques an Extrovert can learn in order to interact with Introverts. (Yes, I reversed these two terms on purpose to show you how biased our society is.) Introverts cannot “fix themselves” and deserve respect for their natural temperament and contributions to the human race. In fact, one study (Silverman, 1986) showed that the percentage of Introverts increases with IQ.

---------------------------[Below is me talking]-----------------------------------

Isn't that list awesome? Well, if you're not an introvert (which only 25% of the world is) then maybe it's not so awesome to you, but to me, this list is a life changer. It changed my entire perspective of myself. This helps me to understand the way I function. It will also help me to overcome my insecurities for the things that I've always looked at as "social awkwardness". If you're an introvert like me, I really hope this article has helped you the way it has me. If you're an extrovert, this still benefits you. This will help you to better be able to reach out and communicate with people like me.

I also want to put a disclaimer here: Just because I'm an introvert, doesn't mean that God can not use me. It does not mean that I am shy. It does not mean that I'm not bold. If I pray for boldness, God will give it to me. Even though this list does not describe being introverts as a bad thing, it does not mean that I am defined by this list. I am not saying that I have to change my personality because I feel like I should be more outgoing. It just means that the power of God has no boundaries. He breaks all the stereotypes and labels we put on ourselves, and ultimately will strive to transform us into the man or woman of God we were made to be. This list has most definitely helped me, but it does not make me. The same goes for you.

Being bold doesn't always mean standing up in front of a big group of people and declaring the gospel to the nations. Sometimes it's just stepping out of your own mind and reaching out to one person. That could be your form of boldness. Do It Afraid. That's where boldness is born and fear is defeated.

I hope this post has been helpful! Blessings to you! Tell me your thoughts! : )

                                                                                                                                    Love,

                                                                                                                                         Jess

Lock Eyes With The Culture

     Our summer is quickly coming to a close, and a new season is coming. For me, it's my senior year. My very last year in high school. At first I was a little terrified. Who wouldn't be? This year signifies the ending of my childhood and the beginning of my journey as an independent adult. For as long as I can remember all I've wanted was to get out of high school and get out on a mission field, to share the love of Jesus with the world. Over the last couple of months God has been showing me that my mission field is wherever I am. I realize that now more than ever.  I'm so ready and open to allowing God to embolden me to be a light in my school. It scares me, but I am ready.
    I've been reading this awesome book by Tim Suttle, called "Public Jesus". It's so thought provoking. In chapter 1, he tells the story of a woman at his church named Wendy. Wendy was driving on a bridge with her husband when she noticed a woman standing on the side of the bridge. She said, "Oh my gosh, Tom, she's gonna jump! That lady's gonna jump! Turn around!" Tom turns the car around, she hops out, broken foot and all, jumps over the guardrail and goes over to this woman. Wendy can tell the woman is distraught. By this time she's on the outside of the fence. Wendy starts speaking to her, and the woman is crying, obviously upset. So Wendy reached her hands as far as she could through the chain-link fence and starts grabbing ahold of her clothing and saying, "You don't wanna do this." Wendy said that at one point the woman looked at her and they locked eyes. She realized in that moment, "I just have to maintain eye contact." She kept saying words of hope to her and the woman was sharing a little bit about what was going on, why she was in the state that she was in, and Wendy's holding on to her, and they're locking eyes.
   Tim then goes on to say,"I remember at the time thinking, that's what it means to be a Christian. It's that we lock eyes with the culture somehow. However it is, we're just available. She was just driving to work. She wasn't on the mission field. She's not a preacher. She was driving to work and saw some woman in trouble, and she goes and she locks eyes with her and she holds on and doesn't let her do this awful thing she's planning to do."
   "Finally, the police showed up and a fireman in a harness pulled the lady off the ledge. But I think what lasts with me from that story is this image of locking eyes with the culture. Somehow, this is a part of what it means to be a disciple. We're obligated and so we grab a hold of people and lock eyes with them, and we try to speak words of hope. When the rest of the world speaks or lives, desperation and meaningless and death and destruction and what does it all mean, we speak hope, we speak resurrection, and that this somehow changes reality."
   Ok, it's me, Jessie. Wasn't that amazing? It's totally true and completely applicable. As Christians, we are called to lock eyes with the world each and every day. It's why we're here. Yes, we are set apart, but it is vital that we connect with the world. We can't unplug everything, sit in our room, praying all day, waiting for Jesus to return. Our mission is to reach out and touch the hearts of everyone around us. In Matthew 5:13-16, Jesus clearly explains what it means to be a human being in the world. I'm going to paste it in the message version because that version really brings the text to life.

¹³ “Let me tell you why you are here. You’re here to be salt-seasoning that brings out the God-flavors of this earth. If you lose your saltiness, how will people taste godliness? You’ve lost your usefulness and will end up in the garbage.

^14-16 “Here’s another way to put it: You’re here to be light, bringing out the God-colors in the world. God is not a secret to be kept. We’re going public with this, as public as a city on a hill. If I make you light-bearers, you don’t think I’m going to hide you under a bucket, do you? I’m putting you on a light stand. Now that I’ve put you there on a hilltop, on a light stand—shine! Keep open house; be generous with your lives. By opening up to others, you’ll prompt people to open up with God, this generous Father in heaven."

   Don't you just love that??? Our faith is public. Jesus is public. "We organize our common life together in such a way that we image God to all creation. We don't separate out into a Christian ghetto: we lock eyes with the world and shine a light into the darkness." We bring out the God-flavors in the world.We're living in an imperfect world, where sin runs free. We have the power to reveal God's love to the world, the power to look into people's eyes and give them hope for a better future. "The church is to be the physical manifestation of the spiritual reality that Jesus is the world's true Lord. We are not simply content to be going to heaven when we die and to sit idly by while the world goes to hell in a hand basket. We are obligated by our vocation as God's image-bearing creatures to invade public space with the good news that Jesus is the world's true Lord."
   So, as summer comes to a close, whether you're going back to school, continuing work as a teacher, a plumber, a lawyer, or a receptionist, everything you do, no matter where you are, has a purpose. In every situation, you have the unique opportunity to lock eyes with the culture and speak life in to someone's situation. Seize the day!

Words Have Power

    

   Have you ever heard the saying, "your words have power"? This is a phrase that I've become very familiar with over the past year. If you read my past blog, titled "God's Peace", then you know that I've been working on a project about speaking kind words this past year in my school. You might think there are so many other serious issues we could try to prevent like depression, suicide, or drug or alcohol addictions, but you see, that's just the thing, we ARE helping prevent those issues.

   Proverbs 18:21 says:

 "The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit."

   Whether you realize it or not, the words that come from our mouths are the roots or beginnings of most problems. Our words literally have POWER! Still don't believe me? Well if our words have no power then what's the point of even praying? Our words don't have any weight or meaning. They're just a shout into the void. Right?

Not Right.

    Every word we say makes a difference in someone's life. Even if it's just ours. That's why when you're sick or dealing with depression, hopelessness, pride, feeling bound by sin, loneliness, or whatever it is you're going through, even if you just need more patience or kindness, you go look up verses about those things and speak them over yourself. At first you might feel like this is such a stupid idea. It's not. I promise you. Speaking words of life over yourself will produce fruit in your life.

Proverbs 15:4 says:

"A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit."

    I'll give you a few examples. So if you're dealing with depression, here's some verses you can pray over yourself:

"Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God." Psalm 42:11

"For you, O Lord, are my hope, my trust, O LORD, from my youth." Psalm 71:5

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope." Romans 15:13

   Turn these verses into your own personal prayers. Use a topical concordance to look up the specific verses you need. I encourage you to write them down. The verses that you find aren't just for yourself. You can use the things you learn from praying over yourself to pray for others.

    So now I've told you how to speak life into your own life, but I want you to also speak into others lives. Make it a daily habit to give every person you meet at least one compliment or word of encouragement. You have no idea how much the words that seem simple to you, mean a world of things to that other person.

   We live in a society that is so focused on our own success and desires, that we've stopped taking the time to use our words to build relationships that edify our souls, we've stopped asking people "How are you?" and wanting to really know the answer. There's something really wrong with that! We live so much inside of our phones and social media that we've stopped connecting through the spoken word. We text instead of just picking up the phone and having a quality conversation, and what's even worse is that we've forgotten how. The things I'm saying to you might not resonate at all, and that's ok. Hopefully that's because you haven't been sucked into the modern day, hermit disease, like the rest of us.

   Now, listen, I'm not writing this to condemn any of you. I'm in the same boat as the rest of you. I'm writing this because I want to inspire you. Inspire you to get up from your worn down, computer chair, and step out into the beautiful world, and go to Starbucks and have a heart to heart with that person you haven't talked to in forever. Only you know who that person is. Maybe it's someone who always looks upset and needs some cheering up, or that person you've been friends with since the womb, or that person that you have trouble getting along with, or maybe it's that family member you wanted to forget existed, whoever it is, stop what you're doing. Stop right now! Call them and connect. Use your empowered words to give the gift of life to someone else, whether it's in the form of encouragement, reconciliation, repentance, or just connecting at a deep level. Don't be satisfied with what the world tries to pass off as good forms of communication. They definitely have their pros, but if they're our only form of communication then they're most certainly more of a con.

   I hope this has been encouraging to you. If you have any questions, please contact me! I would love to talk with you! Thank you for reading this and allowing me to share my heart with you! Please share my blog with friends and family! I'd greatly appreciate it!

                                                                                                     Love,

                                                                                                         Jessie Childs

Give Up the "Riches"

17 As Jesus started on his way, a man ran up to him and fell on his knees before him. “Good teacher,” he asked, “what must I do to inherit eternal life?” 18 “Why do you call me good?” Jesus answered. “No one is good—except God alone. 19 You know the commandments: ‘You shall not murder, you shall not commit adultery, you shall not steal, you shall not give false testimony, you shall not defraud, honor your father and mother.’[a]” 20 “Teacher,” he declared, “all these I have kept since I was a boy.” 21 Jesus looked at him and loved him. “One thing you lack,” he said. “Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” 22 At this the man’s face fell. He went away sad, because he had great wealth. 23 Jesus looked around and said to his disciples, “How hard it is for the rich to enter the kingdom of God!” 24 The disciples were amazed at his words. But Jesus said again, “Children, how hard it is to enter the kingdom of God! 25 It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God.” Mark 10:17-24

   In the past when I read this passage, I always looked at it as something that was really written for people of great wealth. As I was reading this again, I was very convicted. How could I think that this passage does not apply to me? Do I not have things in my life that distract me or try to tempt me? I do! Do I not have my own selfish desires? Do I not continue to let things into my eye gate that I know would displease the Lord? I do! I wonder why at certain times in my life I have so much trouble connecting with God. Now I know. I can't let go of my "riches". When really it's just sin in disguise. If you want it plain and simple, it is our idols.
   These scriptures right here are the key to why we have such difficulties connecting with God. We think we have it all pretty much together. When we decide to follow Jesus we think it's okay to hold onto some of our old habits and desires because "they're not really that bad." That is such a lie! The amount of Christians that allow large amounts of secular media into their minds and hearts astonishes me. How can you think that you can listen to music that is not of God and watch those vulgar movies and not be affected by it??? I can say from personal experience that that is such a lie. In my family we are only allowed to listen to Christian music. As a child, I grew up watching Veggie Tales and Jesus movies. That was it. The simple decision my parents made to fill us up with Godly media at a young age, thrust upon me a spiritual maturity that can only be accounted to the experience of being constantly surrounded by things of God. This is just my personal experience. We all come from different backgrounds. Maybe you never had someone that controlled the things that were put into your fragile heart. You might not know that you need to monitor what you let enter your eye gate. Well, I'm here to tell you that it is vital. Make it your responsibility. There are other things as well, that keep us from connecting with God to our full capacity. The things that you allow to be apart of your life could be bad relationships, vulgar language, jealousy, bitterness, or maybe just constantly being so busy that you leave no room for God. These are just some of the things we hold on to and let put walls up between us and God.
    Over the past couple of years, I've allowed a few secular songs here and there to slip into my everyday life. I've read a few unchristian books. I began to make exceptions, which began to become a more frequent habit. I didn't realize what I was doing to my mind. I thought that I was a strong enough Christian that I could read certain books and not be changed by them. SUCH A LIE! Over time, my ideas of right and wrong started to become confused. I then realized that the ungodly things that I allowed into my life were the reason for the confusion I was facing. Despite that, I didn't want to give it up. I liked reading books like "The Hunger Games" or "The Fault In Our Stars". I continued to hold onto my "riches" a.k.a idols. Many times the things that caused me to sin, began so innocently.
    For example, one time I was looking for an article on "How to Lose Weight Fast" and it was on the cosmopolitanism magazine website. My intents were purely innocent, but at the end of the article, after I finished reading, were "suggested articles". If you've ever seen the cover of one of these magazine covers in a store, you know they're pretty much just a sex magazine. So, I allowed my flesh and curiosity to get the better of me and clicked on one of the articles that I knew I shouldn't read. That led me down a path that was filled with shame and regret. I felt so dirty. My relationship with God got so messed up.
   It is a common belief that guys are the only ones who struggle with sexual feelings and thoughts. That is a lie. God made both of us to enjoy sex. So naturally we're both curious, but there is a point in which that curiosity must be contained, because it becomes lust and impurity. I battled for months with impure thoughts attacking my mind. Thoughts that I wanted to leave. I didn't know where they came from. Then one night after I finished reading a book that had some romance in it that went too far, I just broke down. I couldn't do it anymore. I felt so much shame because I knew I was reading things that were seriously, displeasing to God. I wished that I could take it all back, but I knew I couldn't. I felt like there was no way that God could want someone who so fully rebelled against everything they knew was right and good. These sins and idols that I continued to let rule my life were stealing from the true riches of a life lived to the fullest in God. I laid there in my bed, sobbing to God, and asking for forgiveness, but even as I did all these things I still felt like there was no way God could forgive me.
   Then suddenly words that my friend Ashley told me a couple days before came to my mind. She came up to me after youth group and told me that during worship, when she was playing the keyboard, God suddenly spoke to her and said "Jessie is precious", and then she looked up and saw me kneeling on my face at the alter. At that moment, as I laid in my bed overwhelmed by my grief, those three words blessed me. They reminded me that it doesn't matter how bad I mess up, God still loves me and sees the good in me. Right then and there I made the decision to cut out all things in my life that were not clearly of God. I was tired of making exceptions. I wanted God to truly have my whole heart. I wanted to let God use my mistakes to redeem others, to show the world that no matter how perfect and innocent I may seem at times, I am SO not perfect. I love much, because I've been forgiven much. This is just my struggle, but we are all different and struggle with different things, so this message applies to ANYTHING and EVERYTHING that hinders you from connecting to God, whether you know what they are or not.
  Ok, this whole paragraph might seem a little random, but hang with me, it's connected, I promise. I've read many stories about people who've given everything to just be with God. They hold prayer meetings when they know they could die for it. They witness to people in the streets of their communist countries. They spend years in prison, and are continually tortured because they believe in someone who has overcome death. Everyday Christians all over the world take risks and are persecuted, all because they love God. Here we are, in America, the land where we have more freedom of speech than the majority of the world, and we're just doing what's comfortable. How much do we REALLY put ourselves out there? How often do we ignore that still, small voice inside of us? How often do we go out of our way to ask someone how their day is and if they have Jesus in their life? THAT IS WHAT WE ARE CALLED TO DO!
   So here's my question. What is holding you back from giving up everything, and stepping out in faith without a second thought? What sins and desires are you allowing to reign over your life, and control the person you are? Don't settle for letting God have just a piece of your heart. If you're gonna do this thing, you go in all the way. Right now, right where you are, repent. Give up every distraction, every sin, every idol, every worldly desire to God. Live in freedom and dwell in the true riches of life, the riches that can only come from living a life pleasing to the Lord.
   I hope that my personal experience has inspired you and given you hope. This, honestly was very hard for me to share so publically, but I believe that the things that are the hardest to do have the most power. Testimonies are life-giving and encouraging to those who are struggling too, which would be pretty much everyone. I hope that my testimony was exactly that for you :)
   If you are having trouble pin pointing the things you need to get rid of in your life, ask God to show you, or maybe ask a close, wise, trustworthy friend to help you.
   If you have questions or would just like to talk to me, please message me in the "Contact Me" section of the sidebar.

                                                                                                         Love,
                                                                                                            Jessie Childs

A House of Love

  Our church's today constantly preach on how we should love one another, how we should accept all people, and reach out to all, but how can we do this if there are people within our own church's who feel alone, neglected, and left out?
  When we want to make a change in our lives we always start with ourselves right? It's the same with this issue. The change starts within the church.
  We go through constant ups and downs of being a united, tight knit group, to being made up of cliques. Some people don't realize that this even occurs. The solution is found when we examine our own hearts. Do you welcome everyone around you? Are there people that you don't talk to simply because they never talk to you? Do you make an effort to include everyone or do you stay within your own comfortable group of friends? I'm not saying all this to step all over your conscience. I'm telling you this so we can all begin to realize that it is not ok for people to walk out of a supposedly place of love and open arms, feeling dejected and unwanted. No one wants to feel this way. We've all been there at one time.
   I am most certainly guilty of staying in my own little group of friends and not making an effort to reach out to other people. It becomes a pattern. We become lazy. The moment we stop making the effort to reach out within our church, is the moment it becomes difficult to reach out to people outside of those four walls.
    The Bible has many verses about unity. I encourage you to study them on your own, to break down His word, and meditate on it. Don't just read it, chew on the words and discover the deep meanings of the scripture. For now, here's a few for you to munch on:

"Finally, brothers, rejoice. Aim for restoration, comfort one another, agree with one another, live in peace; and the God of love and peace will be with you." 2 Corinthians 13:11

"I appeal to you, brothers, by the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree, and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be united in the same mind and the same judgment." 1 Corinthians 1:10

"For the body does not consist of one member but of many" 1 Corinthians 12:14

   I challenge you! Examine your heart and ask yourself if you have made an effort to truly unify your church. I'm not saying this is all on you, but one person can start a change. That's all it takes. You can plant the seed! Let's not settle for seasons of unity, let's make it a permanent lifestyle. We can do this!

                                        Love,
                                            Jessie Childs

"I'm Sorry"

FORGIVING

To forgive isn't cheap

It doesn't come free

It costs pride and face

and memory

It's biding your time

and biting your tongue

and forgetting words

carelessly slung

Jesus forgave

Ha paid in full

He'll show us how

and make us whole

if we trust

and learn to live

as we're forgiven

is how to forgive

~Melody Carlson

 

 

     Saying Your Sorry. This has to be one of the hardest actions. It takes swallowing your pride and asking for forgiveness, even when you aren't the one who did anything wrong. You might think that sounds crazy! Why would you say your sorry when you did ABSOLUTLEY NOTHING wrong? Jesus didn't do anything wrong. He paid the price for us. He did it so we can make amends with His Father. Say your sorry so you can make amends with that person. Saying sorry, and meaning it, puts the ball in their court. They'll have to make the decision on how to take your apology. You just continue to love that person.

    In middle school, I was the President/Co-founder of this club called "Christ's Gurlz". You can tell by the name that we were pretty, cool catz, haha. Well, I'm the kind of leader who would rather just do everything myself because I don't feel like anyone else will be able to do it just right. 

 

          Hi, I'm Jessie and I'm a perfectionist. Yep, that's me.

 

     Well, I tried my very hardest to give jobs to the other leaders, and I was constantly aggravated and stressed, because I felt like no one was being consistent or taking things seriously. I needed to take a serious chill pill, but regardless I ended up doing hours and hours of work all by myself for this club. I came to the point were I got so frustrated with the other leaders for not listening to me when I asked for help, that I basically didn't talk to the one leader that I had classes with. I didn't talk to her unless she spoke to me. It was partially because I knew if I spoke to her, that my agitation would show through my words, but mostly because I was an immature little 7th grader. I eventually just got over it.

     Two years went by. It was my freshman year. I still held resentment and so I talked to God about it. I said, "God, ya know what, I forgive all those girls for not helping me when I asked, and all of the other things that I got upset about. I don't want to hold grudges anymore. The only person it's hurting anymore is me. So I'm letting go of all the hate and anger, and I'm giving it you."

     I felt so good after giving it to God. It was finally all left in the past. Then God said, "What about that girl that you didn't talk to. Don't you need to apologize to her?" My response to this was, "Are you kidding me God? I didn't do anything wrong!! I'm the one who was constantly crying because I was so stressed out. I don't need to say "I'm sorry" for anything!"

     I just left it at that. As the months went by, I kept feeling this nudging on my heart that I needed to apologize to her. I felt like it was pointless since it was so long ago. She probably wouldn't even remember.

     Finally, I couldn't take it anymore, so I sat down and wrote this girl an entire letter about how sorry I was. You might think that writing it down is chickening out of having to say "I'm sorry" to her face. Maybe it is, but I have trouble getting out everything I want to say, and writing my thoughts and feelings out on paper make me get the whole picture across nice and clear.

     A few days later, when this girl was driving me home, I gave her the letter as I got out of the car. I was so scared and nervous. I had no clue how she was going to respond to this.

     Ten minutes later she calls me up on the phone and from that moment on my jaw was falling to the ground in shock. Here's what she said:

"Oh my gosh, Jessie! You have no idea how much this means to me! A couple of years ago when all this was happening I was talking to my mom about it because I was so upset. I didn't understand why you weren't talking to me. I didn't know what to do. My mom told me to just leave it alone because God would put it on your heart to say you're sorry to me. I never saw this coming. Thank you so much!"

     I was astonished. I felt so humbled. This was NOT the reaction I was expecting and to think that if I had disobeyed God we never would have mended that area of our relationship. I felt so blessed. Receiving forgiveness really makes you feel free, even though I didn't think that I had done anything wrong. I felt good, like a weight was lifted from shoulders, that I didn't even know was there.
     After that point I made a choice to always confront people (with love) when I feel like something is wrong, or maybe I did something to hurt their feelings, or vice versa. I want to talk about it, get it in the open so my relationships can stay healthy and life-giving. That's  being transparent and helps you live life to the fullest.
     I want to challenge you. Get out a piece of paper. Write down names of the people you know. Then ask yourself, "How is our relationship?" "Is there anything I need to ask forgiveness for?" "Is there anything that that person, who's supposed to be my friend, is doing to hurt me?"
     Then I want you to pray about it, and pray for those people. Ask God if you need to say "I'm sorry" for anything. Free yourself, don't live in the bondages of unforgiveness, hate, and unresolved situations.

 

BE FREE!

 "So watch yourselves. “If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents forgive him. If he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times comes back to you and says , ‘I repent,’ forgive him.” Luke 17:3-4 NIV

 

"Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times? “Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.” Matthew 18: 21-22 NIV    

      

"Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive."    Colossians 3:13

 

"Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you."  Ephesians 4:32  

         

  Love, Jessie